This is the best band ever, you don't even know.

Current Logo

Over 9000 Platinum Albums.

Inducted into the Hall of Fame, TWICE.

Used their insane riches to turn a third world country into a space-faring, enlightened race of teenage mutant ninja turtles (patent pending)

They are The No-Names. They are made up of the greatest musicians of our time. Any time. Ever.


The band formed on August 8, 2014. On August 8, 2014, the band had many disputes. Threats of breaking up occured. But the band in their AMAZINGNESS never gave up.

On August 8, 2014, the band, still without a name, was suffering through much turmoil. Glitch left the band. Without him- oh wait, he came ba-oh, he left aga-he's back guys-wait there he goes- oh, look, he's-oh, here we go-

It took 1000 years and 7 name changes, but on August 8, 3014, the band decided on "The No-Names". Also Glitch is back, for real, gaius

The band was powerful, but its power was dangerous. They retired to prevent their power from growing too strong. However, rock never dies. The power of rock manifested itself into another rock band: The Birds and the Weebs. The birds and the weebs killed all gingers except for Biter, but no one really cared. They then killed one black child who was pointing an unloaded gun at them, and the world went into a panic. Realizing that perfection can in fact bring out flaws, the No Names came back together for a final rock battle to the death. Both teams fought valiantly, but in the end, good prevaled. They realized that they could not risk this happening again, or another innocent black child would die. They took a trip in their rocket ship that they had because Kim Jung Un gave it to them, and went to Planet Hulk, where there were no innocent black children that could be killed, to seal their power. They play a gig every weekend there.

The MembersEdit

Metal: The lead vocalist and founder of the band. He can reach the lows of a majestic freaking whale and the highs of a majestic friggin' eagle. Notes held for more than 5 seconds are known to cure cancer. If he burps, global warming is cured.

BlueFlame: The bassist. He may or may not be racist (but we all know he is). Often underrated but for a good reason (see previous sentence for explanation).

Splash: The 3DS player. He uses sound to his advantage to create the ultimate atmosphere. We're talking he can CREATE OXYGEN. WITH HIS 3D-FRIGGIN-S. Known to hate the pool.

Biter: The accordian player. His accordian causes those around him to underestimate him, but using his amazing squeeze pull action, he can bust out beautiful sounds like a farmer squeezes and pulls a cows utters to bring out wholesome, nutritious milk. The Dipper. Has beat Weird Al in a polka competition.

Glitch: Steals from the audience and is known for his often use of the word "scrub" where we then force him to clean all 295 of our toilets. He then steals our toilets.

MS: Draws for the songs, as well as plays mayonaisse. He is unprecedented in the field of drawing songs AND mayonaisse playing. Also eats triangle-shaped food (such as pizza slices and Doritos)

CC: Eats MS's mayonaisse. Plays "the high-pitched JPN music in the background that no-one likes"

Modren: Plays horseradish. The heart of the band. Literally. His whole body is a giant heart.

Darkness: Lead keyboardist. He came from the future to save the world from unhip beats. His keyboard is unmatched in sound quality, his fingers unmatched in speeeeeeed. He is also part friggin cyborg. He once beat up Batman and Chuck Norris AT THE SAME TIME with only one finger.

Myself: Lead banjo. Came from the south (of England) to seek vengeance on the man who killed his father, by challenging him to a BANJO CONTEST. Has the best chest hair. He is the backbone of the band's sound.

Mabelforcer: Typical Canadian. Often writes press reports for the band as they proceed to watch Frozen and play Winnie the Pooh's Home Run Derby. No one in the band has got pass level 4 because it is the hardest game ever and is the sole reason the band was fighting (I think).

BlueSpeeder: The Tigger that y'all faggots forgot. :P